The euphemistic Gingerbread Man

Once on the far side of yesterday, a couple of golden agers lived in a small house by the river near a charming little village. The lady, who was the breadwinner in the house and a modern, independent citizen, was of restricted growth and had plenty of character lines in her face. She worked as a domestic engineer in different houses from the village and as a sanitation expert in the local school.
The husband was a big-boned man, who, before meeting his wife, usually found himself  financially embarrassed and, at one point, even living on the streets. Now and then he still indulged in adult beverages until ending up feeling tired and emotional.
One afternoon, both of them were feeling really hungry and decided to bake a gingerbread man. They didn't have any personal issues with ginger men, as they thought they were absolutely normal, but, in this case, they thought that being it just a piece of dough, it wouldn't involve any moral transgression. The elderly female citizen gave him blueberries for eyes, a large and flat strawberry for a mouth and some small peanuts for buttons. Then, she put him in the tanning space with a lot of care, so their little creation could be as comfortable as possible.
When the process was complete, she opened the door of the tanning space and proceeded to take the gingerbread man out. But then, bewilderment reigned in the kitchen; the gingerbread man was alive and speaking out loud.
He soon realized that those enchanting senior citizens wanted to offered him a one-way trip through their digestive systems, and he didn't quite fancied the idea. They told him that there was nothing to fear, that they all were going to be friends. The gingerbread man could feel though that the couple were being economical with the truth, so he started to run away from his own private abattoir as fast as his ginger legs allowed him.
The golden agers, despite their age, were in perfect shape, and ran after their rebel brunch as if the world was ending. However, the gingerbread man turned out to be a proper athlete, something really unusual for his condition; they concluded that it was going to be a tough job to put him to sleep, and gave up the chase.
Several animals from the surroundings, including a ginger-loving zebra and a starving mole, tried to catch him in vain. He was definitely a natural; born to run.
But just when he thought that he had overcome the collateral damage, a ruthless wolf teared apart his hopes. He leaped on the gingerbread like the insatiable creature that he was, although it didn't take long for the wolf to discovered that his pray wasn't an easy one. Suddenly, when even the gingerbread felt that he was going to be pushing up daisies soon, a passing hunter saved him from meeting his maker. He didn't kill the wolf, as that would have been inappropiate for a vegetarian hunter like him, but he managed to scare him to death with his shootings.
The gingerbread man, feeling immensely thankful to the hunter, offered him to move to his place and become his personal assistant. The hunter, a devoted advocate of endangered species like the gingerbread man, couldn't say no.
So goes my little tale. Now it's your turn us to regale.

Cosas que permanecen

Durante casi dos décadas, había rodeado mi dedo anular con ternura y constancia. Era una de las pocas cosas que había permanecido a mi lado; por alguna razón que yo atribuía a la mística, ese objeto anodino siempre volvía a mí, sin importar las circunstancias.
Pero esa mañana no se encontraba ahí; tras buscar por todas las superficies asequibles, asumí que esta vez la pérdida era definitiva. Se trataba únicamente de un trozo de metal anacrónico que bordeaba lo herrumbroso, pero yo sentí un gran vacío en mi interior. Al final, como el mundo insistía con implacable puntualidad, todo desaparece.

Seguí elucubrando sobre el posible destino del susodicho anillo, el cual, por cierto, procedía de Cuba y fue un regalo que mi padre me hizo durante la fase más crítica de mi adolescencia. Poco después, gracias a las propiedades mágicas con las que había ensalzado a la deforme bisutería, mi existencia en el planeta empezó a mejorar. 

Concluí que solo podía encontrarse en un lugar: el mar. El mismo mar que adornaba las diminutas paredes del anillo. El día anterior había estado surcando los primeros estratos de la rocosa costa de Denia, donde solía refugiarme en momentos de reflexión, incertidumbre o celebración de la vida. No percibí haber perdido nada, pero en mis adentros sentí que era ahí donde había caído mi preciada circunferencia saturnal. 

Me equipé con mi equipo de explorador acuático y me lancé a las turbias aguas; la noche anterior hubo tormenta, con lo que el mar se balanceaba violentamente, generando un festín de algas que emborronó todo su contenido. 

Pasaron los minutos y mi esperanza menguó. Un golpe de realidad me sacudió: era imposible encontrar algo tan pequeño en un espacio tan inmenso y voluble. Seguí buceando hasta la orilla, ya convencido de lo inútil de mi ambición. Pero mientras ascendía al mundo humano del oxígeno y la confusión, algo brilló. Solo un destello. Me acerqué al recoveco de donde procedía, y allí estaba él, incólume. El anillo marítimo extraviado se había refugiado en una diminuta cueva submarina, en espera de ser rescatado. 

Lo recuperé y salí del agua,extasiado y voceando mi sorpresa, todavía incrédulo de la hazaña que acababa de realizar. Una señora se bañaba a mi lado, aterrada por mi fervor e indiferente a mi logro, reflejando nítidamente lo intrascendente que este había sido para el resto de la humanidad.
En mi pequeño inventario de vivencias, sigue siendo un momento memorable.